* What kind of can never needs a can-opener?
ANSWER...A PELICAN!

*It goes up and down the stairs without moving.
ANSWER..  tHE cARPET

*Give it food and it will live; give it water and it will die?
ANSWER..  fIRE

*What five letter English word does not change its pronunciation when four letters are taken away?
ANSWER.. QUEUE

*What can you catch but not throw?
ANSWER..  A cold

*I run, yet I have no legs. What am I?
ANSWER..a NOSE

*Take one out and scratch my head
I am now black but once was red
ANSWER..A Match

*What is black and white and is red all over?
ANSWER..A nEWSPAPER

*He has a look of awful scorn, And wears his clothes a funny way,
Waving his hands over fields of corn,  He keeps the birds away!
ANSWER ..  a sCARECROW

*What goes around the world and stays in a corner?
ANSWER..  A Stamp

*What gets wetter the more it dries?
ANSWER..A Towel

*The man who invented it, doesn't want it.  The man who bought it, doesn't need it. The man who needs it, doesn't know it
ANSWER..  a cOFFIN

*What's the beginning of eternity,  the end of time and space,
the beginning of the end,  And the end of every place?
ANSWER.. The l letter  "E"

*What can fill a room but takes up no space.
ANSWER..  A Light